Slaraffenland talk about sneaking out of older ladies houses

Chris from Slaraffenland let us corner him and talk about sneaking out of older ladies beds.

What's your favorite love song?
"All I Need" by Radiohead

Why is that your favorite love songs?
I love Thom York's lyrics. This song just really captures being in love for me...

What would you prefer to be in, love or lust?
Both... With the same person

What was your first kiss like?
It was weird. It was in 5th grade. When you kiss someone you have to make the kissing sound. Neither of us did that so it just felt like bumping into each other.

How do you know when you're in love?
I think it depends on how old you are. When you are teenager it feels a lot different, at least it did for me. In general I guess being in love makes you do crazy stuff like biking a long way to catch a glimpse of the one. Being with my girlfriend I've discovered that it feels even stronger to pass the "falling in love state" and really start loving someone.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?
I had to think about this a while. Guess that's a bad thing! I'm pretty good at taking my girlfriend on romantic vacations to European cities a couple of times a year.

What's your worst heartbreak story?
I had a girlfriend for quite a few years when I was a teenager and she was a few years older than me. At some point she moved to London (from Denmark) to study. I visited her once in London and that was when she broke up with me. She had too many new things in her life and didn't want the long distance thing. This was 10 years ago and I didn't go back to London before this fall!

What was your worst ever sexual experience?
Ha. Many years ago I had an experience that I luckily don't remember that well! It involves a lot of alcohol, a woman that's a lot older than me, me waking up naked not knowing where I am, the woman lying naked beside me, me panicking, lying about my name and running out of her house without my shoes on. The whole thing was quite terrifying!

What would turn you off a girl?
Without sounding too holy. I really get turned on by good personalities. Guess the opposite really turns me off.


WORDS: Kylie Griffiths
PHOTOS: Slaraffendland Myspace

SMASN & GRAB w/ NAIVE NEW BEATERS!

SMASH AND GRAB 03.12.09

Words by Charlotte McManus

Photos by Gabriel Love

How good were Naïve New Beaters tonight?! For those of you who missed them, they’re a smiley, sex-stuffed package combining rap, rock, electro and silly dance sequences. As the lights dimmed, the trio marched on stage with synths and sparklers, and proceeded to blast the ears off everyone with frantic neon happy-vibes.

“I see decoration here, I see love, I see hearts…we’re gonna give some hearts…can you do some hearts?” Singer David Boring asks. Love? Hearts? That’s only what Smash and Grab does best…as seen during ’The Friendship Song’, which has everybody literally cuddling on the dancefloor. Beautiful.

Our shiny new Smash and Grab hologram looked lovely, whirling over all the revelry. The Christmas mood is really revving up now, isn’t it? Proud’s decorations are creating as much festive warmth as necking three glasses of mulled wine at once, and there were the odd one or two of you already wearing antlers and Santa hats; I’m pretty sure I heard a dirty joke involving a nun and a candy cane. 22 DAYS TO GO! Being the season of good will to all men and whatever, make sure you’re doing your best to spread the love…wear a new dress, kiss that special someone, buy me a drink…and, most important of all; dance, dance, dance.

If any of you mess-heads haven’t already done so, make sure you check out the Clown Photo-booth on your next visit…you simply haven’t lived until you’ve been decked out with a sparkly wig, red nose and ultra-flattering circus outfit. A look one hundred per cent guaranteed to get you some sex. Or at the very least, some boob.

Quote of the night? This bizarre offering from a rather intoxicated gent in a suit: “You see stables, you see poles, you expect horses, you expect ketamine but no…everyone’s having a very nice time having fun with their friends…and that’s just how I like it.” Sentiment’s there, I suppose.

FEEL THE LOVE

Bleech talk about love and lust

We spoke to Catherine and Matt from Bleech about being cradle snatched and Cannibal Corpse.

What's your favorite love song?
Catherine: Marvin Gaye "Let's get it on"
Matt: "Addicted to Vaginal Skin" by Cannibal Corpse, that's a pretty good one.

Very romantic Matt. Why are they your favorite love songs?
Matt: It's romantic to people who like Death Metal. Love is pretty brutal but it's also exciting
Catherine: Because it's an obvious love song
Matt: Actually I'd say it's a prelude to sex, it's a foreplay song.

What would you prefer to be in, love or lust?
M: Love is a long term thing, whereas lust is short term and quite disappointing.
C: Lust is more exciting than love though
M: Catherine's a bit of a man eater

How'd you gain that reputation?
C: Only Matt thinks that really (laughs)

What was your first kiss like?
C: I think I had braces still
M: Wet, the wettest kiss I've ever had. I might as well have kissed a spaniel

How do you know when you're in love?
M: It's different for everyone, but you just know. That's very corny but you do just know. Actually I'm in love with Alison Mossheart as well as my girlfriend, but my girlfriend loves Alex James more than me, if he asked her out she'd blow me off in a second.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?
M: I've just done simple things, took her out for a nice meal, the theatre, went home and had a coffee
C: When I was in Primary School, I made a Valentines Card for this boy that I loved, and I wrote my name on the end, but I forgot you're not meant to do that so I had to scrub my name out, but you could still tell it was from me.

What's your worst heartbreak story?
M: I was cradle snatched, at school. I was going out with this 18 year old girl and I was in lower school, and I was on my way to see my step-gran one day, and she told me it wasn't working because I couldn't get into any pubs with her.
C: I think it was when the love affair with me and John Lennon ended

What was your worst ever sexual experience?
M: I fell off a bed once and smacked my head off her wardrobe.

What would turn you off a girl?
M: Failure of grooming, facial hair

What would turn you off a guy?
C: Probably, if he had really bad breath
M: There's an actual name for that you know
K: Halitosis
M: Oh god, that sounds terrible.

WORDS: Kylie Griffiths
PHOTOS: Nicole Kai