Words by Charlotte McManus
Photos by Gabriel Love
How good were Naïve New Beaters tonight?! For those of you who missed them, they’re a smiley, sex-stuffed package combining rap, rock, electro and silly dance sequences. As the lights dimmed, the trio marched on stage with synths and sparklers, and proceeded to blast the ears off everyone with frantic neon happy-vibes.
“I see decoration here, I see love, I see hearts…we’re gonna give some hearts…can you do some hearts?” Singer David Boring asks. Love? Hearts? That’s only what Smash and Grab does best…as seen during ’The Friendship Song’, which has everybody literally cuddling on the dancefloor. Beautiful.
Our shiny new Smash and Grab hologram looked lovely, whirling over all the revelry. The Christmas mood is really revving up now, isn’t it? Proud’s decorations are creating as much festive warmth as necking three glasses of mulled wine at once, and there were the odd one or two of you already wearing antlers and Santa hats; I’m pretty sure I heard a dirty joke involving a nun and a candy cane. 22 DAYS TO GO! Being the season of good will to all men and whatever, make sure you’re doing your best to spread the love…wear a new dress, kiss that special someone, buy me a drink…and, most important of all; dance, dance, dance.
If any of you mess-heads haven’t already done so, make sure you check out the Clown Photo-booth on your next visit…you simply haven’t lived until you’ve been decked out with a sparkly wig, red nose and ultra-flattering circus outfit. A look one hundred per cent guaranteed to get you some sex. Or at the very least, some boob.
Quote of the night? This bizarre offering from a rather intoxicated gent in a suit: “You see stables, you see poles, you expect horses, you expect ketamine but no…everyone’s having a very nice time having fun with their friends…and that’s just how I like it.” Sentiment’s there, I suppose.
FEEL THE LOVE
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